A Single Twin...

On January 18, 2020 I lost my twin brother to lung cancer. at the age of 68. I can barely believe it, even as I write it. David Michael Stewart has been a constant in my life, literally my entire life. We were the youngest of 5. My mother used to say that when she became pregnant with us she would pray often for twins. Otherwise that one baby would be spoiled rotten. As it happens, her two babies were spoiled rotten. My brother Dick was almost 8 when we were born, brother Bill was  9. My brother Jim graduated from high school the day we came home from the hospital. He was nearly 18.

David and I were always together as children. We were known in our family as "the twins". Sometimes we would be referred to individually, but it always reverted back to the duo. I remember being confused that people could tell us apart...the twins on tv were identical. Obviously we were not. As we grew older, our lives diverged into two separate identities. In fact, not many people realized we were even related, much less twins. David was a drummer and very cool. I was...not. As I married and moved far away, we became even more distant, literally and figuratively. Neither of us was very good at writing letters or staying in touch. I think we both depended on family to keep us informed on what the other was up to. Life has a way of getting very busy when you have four children, who are all active in sports, school, etc. and David had two children of his own and later two step children.

He had several interest. He was a self-taught mechanical genius. He could take parts from several cars and put then together into one very cool hot rod. He also painted cars for a portion of his life. I suspect that's where the carcinogens entered his lungs, but I don't know for sure...it could have been the second hand smoke we were constantly around as kids.(and ultimately killed our parents).  He was a contractor for a large portion of his life and did incredible work. He was an artist with the eye of an artist. And of course, the drummer. He played with many bands over the years, from country to folk, to rock. I also remember an accordion band early in his career that he would probably just as soon I never mentioned.

He lived just a few miles from the house we grew up in. He never had any real interest in moving. Meanwhile, I lived in more states than I can remember. We were baptized Catholic as babies, but neither of us continued in the faith. David recently found peace in Buddhism  while I preferred the more structured life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormons. I don't drink and he did. He enjoyed his drinking and for a portion of his life he drank too much, but later was able to find balance.

So we weren't much alike at all, it turns out. But did I love my brother? Absolutely  and without judgement. He was, and will always be my hero. He worked hard in his life, and provided for his family. He had many interest and followed them. He was a good man and loved his family.  To my way of thinking that is the definition of "hero."

I never thought for a moment he would be the first of the five of us kids to go. I hoped I would go first so I wouldn't have to go through the heartache of losing the brothers I love. Sadly, that wasn't the way this life turned out. Will I see him again? Yes. I have no doubt.

My twin brother has always been with me in my heart no matter how far away I was. As I slog through the days, months and years ahead, he will continue to be with me.

I love you, David. I'll see you later. Say "hi" to mom and dad.