Ceddie the Bully

Today Ceddie and I spent a good part of the day doing yard work...I made him stand and water the lawn where he is wearing a path, while I mowed. A little later in the afternoon we went back to the lake so he could work on his paddling in the life jacket.

He had a squirt gun that I bought for him and I cautioned him against shooting towards anyone since the water is cold and it may make for a cranky kid if someone were to get a watery surprise. I sat on the sand about ten feet from the waters edge as he began his assault on the water. I noticed three large kids (O.K...FAT kids) in the water a good distance away in tubes playing, but I didn't think much of that. After all they were a lot older than Ceddie. I had a book and read a little while often looking up to check on him. Suddenly I heard a mom screaming at the top of her voice. She was yelling at someone in the water about throwing a rock. Suddenly I realized that this screaming banshee was yelling at Ceddie! He was standing in water shivering as she yelled at him. I was stunned into silence for a moment while I processed the scene. She's standing there screaming so that everyone in the water and on the small beach can hear and this poor little boy is just as stunned as I am. She continued to yell and asked who he was there with and he said 'Grandma' and pointed to me. She turned on me and began to yell at me. Apparently what happened (as I reconstructed the problem) Ceddie had stepped on a rock and simply picked it up and chucked it a little further out in the water. Admittedly it was towards her kids, but the chances of hitting them and doing any damage was pretty small. She yelled at me that if the rock had hit one of her kids they might have gone down and drowned! (They could have stood up in the water...it wasn't deep)It was pretty clear to me that she was totally irrational and in a case like that, it has been my experience that the best course of action is to agree with the person. It will usually diffuse the situation.

I knew I had two ways to play my response. I could be the 'adult' and calmly accept her explanation at face value, and assure her it wouldn't happen again....or I could stand up and kick her butt in front of her fat kids, push her in the water and try to explain to the police who would surely be called what had happened. My natural instinct was to kick her butt, but I wanted to be a good example to Ceddie, so I spoke to her in a calm voice and told her it wouldn't happen again. Then I spoke to Ceddie, in an equally calm voice and asked about it. He told me the truth and I explained that there was no place for rock tossing when other people were around, regardless of the fact that hitting one of them was unlikely. Then I told him to go back and play and have a good time. The woman left and went back to her chair. The group left a few minutes later because the children seemed to be very embarrassed about the whole thing. I wonder why.

I went back to reading my book, trying to retain my dignity. A woman sitting nearby said quietly to me "I'm sorry that happened". I was a little surprised at that and said "Well, she surely got her point across, didn't she" and kind of laughed. She said "But she didn't have to alert the entire lake of it! How stupid she was.I have to say....you handled that with grace. I was impressed." I thanked her for her nice words and went back to my book, knowing I had done the right thing.

Ceddie continued to play and have a great time. Every once in a while he would call to me and ask if he was doing great in his paddling. I assured him each time that he was doing extra great and I was proud of him. The screaming banshee-woman was soon forgotten. After a little while he came out of the water and sat by me while I tried to warm him up. He put his head on my lap and said "Gramma...I love you." I got my reward for the day.